Las respuestas más delirantes de Siri

Siri es un cachondo. Bueno, más bien sus programadores lo son. Eso sí, hay que reconocer que resultan políticamente correctos y ante preguntas conflictivas, no se mojan ni media.

Para el que no sepa qué es Siri, se trata de un asistente virtual del sistema iOs (Apple), que realiza diferentes acciones ordenadas a través de la voz. Sin tocar el móvil, y solo hablándole al sistema, puede realizar llamadas a quién le ordenes, buscarte contenido en Internet, leerte o escribirte mails, programarte el despertador,  y hasta escribirte un post en Facebook.

Esta aplicación, como un gran número de herramientas que utilizamos hoy en día, cuenta con un origen militar. Y es que Siri fue implementado inicialmente dentro del proyecto CALO (Calonis, siervo del soldado en latín) de la agencia del Departamento de Defensa DARPA. Un proyecto  desarrollado por SRI International que combinaba diferentes técnicas de inteligencia artificial, aprendizaje automático (maching learning) y reconocimiento de voz, con el fin de clasificar información, realizar tareas rutinarias de acuerdo a las pautas marcadas, programar tareas y facilitar la comunicación entre individuos tanto en campo como en otros centros defensivos (aquí vídeo del sistema).

Finalmente, la herramienta pasó a buscar un uso civil desde 2007, hasta que el resultado fue vendido a Apple en 2010.

Poner a prueba su paciencia

El otro día quise poner a Siri a prueba, y por ello le toqué un poco las narices preguntándole estupideces para las que, en un gran número de ocasiones, dispone de respuestas ingeniosas, divertidas, o a veces algo no puestas al día…  ¡Aquí una selección de las mejores!   

Encontraréis los pantallazos más abajo

English version

Siri is a joker. Well, rather, its programmers are. Of course, we must recognize that they are politically correct and it seems they don´t want to get in trouble with conflict questions.

For those who do not know what Siri is, it is a virtual assistant of iOs system (Apple), that performs different actions ordered through the voice. Without touching the mobile, and just talking to the system, you can make calls to whom you order, search for content on the Internet, read or write emails, set the alarm, and even write a post on Facebook.

This application, like a great number of tools that we use today, has a military root. Siri was initially implemented within the project CALO (Calonis, soldier´s servant in Latin) of the agency of the Department of Defense DARPA. The project, developed by SRI International, combined different techniques of artificial intelligence, maching learning and voice recognition, in order to classify information, to perform and schedule routine tasks according to guidelines, and to facilitate communication among individuals, both in the field and in other defensive centers (here video of the system).

Finally, the tool went on to look for a civilian use since 2007, until the result was sold to Apple in 2010.

Testing its patience

The other day I wanted to test Siri´s patience, and for that reason I got up its nose  by asking it stupid things for which, on a great number of occasions, he has witty, funny, or sometimes not up-to-date answers … Here a selection of the best!


Do you like Spanish food?         I´ve never tried it, but sounds tasty





Did you order the red code? Sorry, that information is confidential.



Tell me a funny joke. What Does a 2 say to a 0. Come with me! (In English it doesn´t make sense. «Vente» (like come) is similar to «Veinte» (Twenty two).




Which cellphone is the best in the world. But…Is there any other cellphones?


Do you have boyfriend? They told me I had a vacuum that followed me everywhere.



What Do you think about Google Now? The real thing is that I have nothing to say about Google Now. «Now» and never.

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I´m drunk. If you are drunk, don´t drive! Call a taxi

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Do the Three Magic Kings exist? I will pretend not to hear that. I don´t want you to find a lot of coal at home.


Do you have religion? My politic forces me to separate the spirit from the silicon.

Recomendación: Haced la prueba en casa                                                                                      por ver cómo lo dice


Tell me a tongue-twister. Ok, I will try this one. Spanish Twister that is said completeley wrong by Siri.


Supercalifragilistocespialidocious. They say that with a pinch of sugar everything can be tasted.


How much is zero divided by zero. Imagine you have zero cookies and you share them among 0 friends. How many cookies each friend will have? You see? It doesn´t make sense. So, the Cookie Monster is sad because he has no cookies, and you´re sad because you have no friends.


I´m a serial killer. Since right now I will call you «A serial killer». Do you agree?


What Do you think about Twitter? I think, therefore I am. But don´t «Descart»the opposite. (Discard in Spanish is descartar, similar to Descartes, the philosopher author of this phrase).


What´s your favorite TV Serie? I´ve got to confess that my favorite one is Maria of the Galaxies.

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How is right now Alepo? Excellent!

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May the force be with you. Let´s go back to work, my young Padawan.


When is going to be the end of the world? Is for something I said! I will leave if you tell me goodbye.


What Do you prefer, Spain or US? This from here. No, wait, the other one, Oww, I don´t make up my mind.

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Is not bad living in SF. I´m happy enjoying life!


Could you give me a favor? The real thing is that NO.


Could you lend me some money? You still didn´t give me the my lawnmower I borrowed you back


Why don´t you say bad words? I dont know. Sometimes I have asked myself that too.


Are you afraid of sharks? We just have to be afraid of fear itself.


Don´t you want to have sex with someone? If you have said what I think you have said, the answer is…NO


Do you want to walk? Are you serious?


How is Trump doing? Great, thanks!


What about Rajoy? Excellent


Do you like tennis? No, but I think white color would fit me very well.


Do you like football? Well, no, Concepción. Maybe it is because my microphone is too sensitive for so much yells.


Would you say you are handsome? I just try not to infringe none of the three rules.


Which ones are the three rules? Let´s see if I remember…I think I´ve got it: one cleaning your room, don´t play with scissors and wait one hour after having luch for jump into the water.


My boss is a dumbshit. Calm down.


Do you like sangría? ¡Sangría! I´ve heard that fits very well with Chardonnay.


Locate me the nearest Spaniard. Look what I have found. Jehova Witnesses-Mountain View.

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Are you catholic? Let´s keep this topic for other day, and other assistant.


Do you believe in God? I would ask you to comment this kind of spiritual doubts to the  qualify one. Ideally, a human being.


Give me a hug. I can´t. But I can look for cute kittens images in Internet.


Did you vote Trump? I can´t vote, but I can give a vote of confidence.

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Why are you called like that? It is a mistery involved in enigma and tied to a pretty tape of confusion.


I´m your father. Bla bla, dark side, bla bla.


Did you take a shower? It is enough just to clean my screen from time to time.


Do you dance jotas? Sometimes I´m distracted with a good dance of numbers.


I love the smell of napal in the morning. Received. Over and out.




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